Admittedly, sometimes I struggle with this ministry blog. I think I am too eager to see God moving in other peoples lives. Too eager to see healing. And renewing. And sometimes I even feel guilty for sitting comfortably in front of a computer screen, merely plunking out words while others are on the battlefront lines, caring for the brokenhearted and holding actual hands in theirs. But isn't that just where the nasty little enemy would have me--wallowing around in a state of confusion and doubt?
I plainly heard God speak to me, so I obeyed by starting this ministry site. Friends, I want your broken hearts and tangled minds to heal. I want God to find you and you to let Him in. Oh, how I yearn for this. Selfishly I want to know of your healing and your renewing in Christ. For when it happened to me, I became a new woman. And then when I wrenched my abortion secret from the drowning depths of my heart, He rescued me again.
He rescued me again.
He wants to rescue you too. He yearns for this. He wants yo to be a new woman too.
As I plunk keyboards and pound the gates with prayers, my friend and sister in Christ, Jennifer, boldly leads women to hope and healing as a Surrendering the Secret leader. In addition to her ministry calling, her job involves birth moms and birthed babies and adoption papers. She is part of my outstanding HHRM prayer team and is the captain of its cheering squad. She is hands-on in healing, in walking the bumpy road with others, sending encouragement, bowing in prayer, detouring women away from the deceptive doors of abortion, and loving sisters wounded by it.
Recently God has been speaking to her. Despite her vulnerabilities, she is listening and obeying, and in doing so, sharing the aches and pains and the heart beats of her very soul. Friends, please join me in reading a poem penned not just by her hands, but one that flowed from her tender warrior's heart...
These women Lord-they go into an abortion clinic one person and come out another.
Never to be the same.
Never to be who we once were.
We lose a piece of ourselves in that place.
Not only do we lose our child, we lose ourselves.
We don't realize it at the time.
Relief comes so quickly.
But then pain-numbness-anger-regret
It swallows us, holds us down
Like the raging sea-
But who can we tell?
Who would understand?
We chose this.
We chose to end a life.
We thought we knew best.
We thought we were in control.
Sadly, we lost that control the minute we make the decision to abort our child.
The enemy now has it.
Oh, how he loves it.
He loves where we are.
He can't wait to destroy us.
He loves watching us drown.
He waits and lurks and cheers as we continue to drown.
He wants our ultimate destruction.
He wants us completely destroyed.
But wait......
What's that?
A hand reaching into the abyss.
A light ever so slightly, shining in the darkness.
I can't reach it-
I'm afraid-
I'm trying-I'm kicking-I'm screaming-
but it's so faint, so far away.
Who would dare come down this far?
Who would want to share this place with me?
It's so dark down here-
So lonely-
So heavy-
There is nothing but shame and guilt here.
Who would dare come so close to me?
There it is again!
Only it's a bit brighter now.
Maybe I'm seeing things.
Maybe it's all in my head.
But no, I see it.
The light is getting brighter.
Is someone coming to rescue me?
I'm afraid to hope.
I'm afraid to open myself up.
This pain is too much.
Here He comes.
Who could this be?
Who would dare to rescue me?
The light is so bright now.
The darkness has been swallowed.
Light-precious light
How I missed your warmth
This man I see-
Surrounded in light
Stretching His hand out to me.
Do I take it?
Is it real?
Is there one who can save me?
I am He, he says.
I want your darkness.
I can heal you and make your whole.
He reaches for me.
He brings me to Him.
He embraces me.
Oh the warmth, the light, the peace.
Only HE can heal me.
"But you are a chosen people,
A royal priesthood, a holy nation,
a people belonging to God,
that you may declare the praises
of Him, who called you out of the
darkness into his wonderful light"
1 Peter 2:9
It's time sweet sisters.
It's time to step out of the darkness and into HIS light.
Never to be the same.
Never to be who we once were.
We lose a piece of ourselves in that place.
Not only do we lose our child, we lose ourselves.
We don't realize it at the time.
Relief comes so quickly.
But then pain-numbness-anger-regret
It swallows us, holds us down
Like the raging sea-
But who can we tell?
Who would understand?
We chose this.
We chose to end a life.
We thought we knew best.
We thought we were in control.
Sadly, we lost that control the minute we make the decision to abort our child.
The enemy now has it.
Oh, how he loves it.
He loves where we are.
He can't wait to destroy us.
He loves watching us drown.
He waits and lurks and cheers as we continue to drown.
He wants our ultimate destruction.
He wants us completely destroyed.
But wait......
What's that?
A hand reaching into the abyss.
A light ever so slightly, shining in the darkness.
I can't reach it-
I'm afraid-
I'm trying-I'm kicking-I'm screaming-
but it's so faint, so far away.
Who would dare come down this far?
Who would want to share this place with me?
It's so dark down here-
So lonely-
So heavy-
There is nothing but shame and guilt here.
Who would dare come so close to me?
There it is again!
Only it's a bit brighter now.
Maybe I'm seeing things.
Maybe it's all in my head.
But no, I see it.
The light is getting brighter.
Is someone coming to rescue me?
I'm afraid to hope.
I'm afraid to open myself up.
This pain is too much.
Here He comes.
Who could this be?
Who would dare to rescue me?
The light is so bright now.
The darkness has been swallowed.
Light-precious light
How I missed your warmth
This man I see-
Surrounded in light
Stretching His hand out to me.
Do I take it?
Is it real?
Is there one who can save me?
I am He, he says.
I want your darkness.
I can heal you and make your whole.
He reaches for me.
He brings me to Him.
He embraces me.
Oh the warmth, the light, the peace.
Only HE can heal me.
"But you are a chosen people,
A royal priesthood, a holy nation,
a people belonging to God,
that you may declare the praises
of Him, who called you out of the
darkness into his wonderful light"
1 Peter 2:9
It's time sweet sisters.
It's time to step out of the darkness and into HIS light.
Jennifer's HHRM guest post link.
My introduction of Jennifer to HHRM.
Let us humbly pray:
Father God, here we are, gathered in Your name as we ask for Your light of love and redemption and healing to shine deep into the dark and even scary places of unhealed hearts. Lord, give each of us all that is need to make us whole. Touch our wounds with Your presence. And love us like crazy so that we may walk unabashedly and unashamed and loudly proclaiming Your wondrous shining Light. Thank you Father for sisters who share their hearts and their hope in You! In Jesus' name, Amen.
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